I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
