She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
