then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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