Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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