Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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