oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
