Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
