hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
