my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
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