He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
