id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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