Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
