Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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