try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
worst night to have a conscience
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
