No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
