we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
