it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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