It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize