so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
