I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize