i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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