she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
