it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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