what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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