Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
