what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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