Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
