I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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