You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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