is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
