i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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