My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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