I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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