Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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