Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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