and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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