READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
