Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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