i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
