Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Fuck appropriateness.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
