I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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