i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
whose parrot is this?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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