I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
