I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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