2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
kristin has been a bad kristin
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i came on her dog
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
