we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
