We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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