Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I supernannyed him into submission
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
