i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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