i think my tv is drunk
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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