After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
