I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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