I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's like heaven, but drunker
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
