so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize