im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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