At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
