oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
birth control should be required to get into college
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
