Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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