It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
