he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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