Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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