and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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