If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
