A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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